Tuesday, April 8th, 2014...5:57 pm

Husband’s friend’s spouse hitting about my spouse?

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Question: Husband’s friend’s spouse hitting about my spouse?
Ok, I can commence off suggesting my spouse plus I have been neighbors with his coworker as well as the coworker’s spouse for a small over a year today. We all normally takes turns dangling out at every other’s apartment. Everything appeared fine. Except for the last month or thus, whenever my spouse plus I receive online. Our friend’s spouse see’s which you are about, plus is continually speaking to my spouse, plus not me. At initial I didn’t think anything of it, yet following regarding a month of the, I began thinking. It began initially whenever they were at the home, they were all drinking except me(I was expecting at the time), whenever she desired to go swimming with my husband(which it was evening, thus pool is dark). And her spouse didn’t like to go swimming. I felt uncomfortable thus I told them no they can’t. Next everytime you play games, she is usually sitting upcoming to him, plus perfectly chatting to him(mind we, she does speak to me whenever you are face to face). And today like I mentioned she is alway speaking to my spouse online plus not me. She doesn’t even mention my name with him. Then I’m thinking she is interested inside my spouse, as well as for a side note she plus her spouse aren’t doing this effectively. And today she is causing issues between my spouse plus I, considering my spouse doesn’t wish To lose his friend over her. My spouse mentioned he has no interest inside her at all, plus which she is selfish, plus ruling. However you don’t understand what to do to receive the point to her, which he is not interested plus to leave him alone. He has tried to disregard her because much because potential, without causing issues with his friend(her husband). Usually I might confront her, yet due to my spouse wanting to keep his companionship along with her spouse, I am carrying my language. So my query is, How could you receive the point by to her, which he is not interested, plus to leave him alone? Another side note, he mentioned he might select me over his friend. That he simply actually loves his friend, plus somewhat keep his companionship with him when he can. Please severe answers just.

Answer by alexis88883
Ask him to wake up plus move when she sits upcoming to him. Ask him to state no when she asks him to swim with him. If she talks to him online, because lengthy because the conversation is appropriate, it really is fine, whenever it gets wrong he could tell he is busy plus cannot talk to her at which time. She will discover when he provides no encouragement to her.

Answer by jojo
Whats the condition? The spouse is not interested inside her, thus only disregard the girl plus go regarding the lives. You are able to not control someone thus function about the relationship plus merely leave her from it.

Answer by p_borino
next time she would like to chat online with the spouse have him either tell her he is uncomfortable chatting along with her or only have him disregard her messages. Eventually she usually receive the hint. Should you feel uncomfortable regarding all this then why don’t we have a speak along with her plus merely tell her which her actions towards the spouse are generating we plus a spouse uncomfortable.

Answer by chelsea
Your spouse must block her about his instant messenger (or any he uses).

You may additionally commence limiting a contact with them. Don’t hang out because usually because we do. Or recommend the spouse ask his friend to hang out alone (form of a “guys night”).

And I detest ot state it, yet are we sure she merely doesn’t like we? That can explain why she looks to usually speak to a spouse plus not we.

Answer by starkravinmadd
Thats convenient, stop thinking its we plus a husbands job to deal with this. If the spouse is absolutely not feeding into this then you ought to confront her spouse with the concerns. Its not a job to deal with this condition plus shouldnt be a strain which you ought to concern oneself with. The girl must deal with issues along with her really spouse plus not bring the issues into a house.

If her spouse cant deal with all the condition plus leaves it about we. Stop dangling out with them. Its merely a mess we dont have to bring into a lives till its ironed out.



8 Comments

  • i am a us citizen. my boyfriend is a canadian citizen. we wish to get married in canada and reside there. what would be the easiest way for me to go about doing that? should i visit canada under a tourist visa, get married, then apply for a spouse visa? during this time can i stay in canada until my spouse visa is approved? once i have my spouse visa am i allowed to work or attend college/uni on that visa or do i need to apply for a work visa/student visa? also after i get married i want to apply for citizenship.. how long will that take and during that time am i still on a spouse visa meaning i cant work or attend school? do i even need a spouse visa if i get married on a tourist visa and immediately apply for citizenship?

    sorry theres a bunch of questions in there, answer as many as you can!

  • Long story short, my husband and I are separated physically due to finances/other issues – he lives with his family and I’m staying with mine in order to get to school every day. We see each other often. Anyway, he’s back in his hometown where all of his old friends are. Let me paint a picture for you: all of his friends are kids who don’t like the idea of growing up because their parents still pay for everything of theirs at this age. They sit around and do every kind of drug under the sun, they’re not very intelligent, and they’re extremely chauvinistic. They have caused a lot of problems with us in the past, one being each one of them having hit on me at some point (I’m nothing special, they’re just pigs), and a few of them assuming that with the right attention, I will be unfaithful to my husband with them.

    They’re unreliable…disappear when my husband really needs them emotionally (when we have issues), and they talk a lot of crap about my husband behind his back…but of course, my husband makes excuses for all of that and values them anyway.

    So, we’re separated now, and we fight a lot for reasons I won’t get into. My husband is the kind of guy who, instead of fixing things with me, used to just go to his friends and make up things about me or tell them how horrible I am. They all just tell him “get with a good hippie girl, man”, like we’re still in high school and marriage means nothing. Even now, when we’re trying to fix our relationship, they tell him to just “ditch the b*****” and take their parents’ money and move to another state where they can all “have fun together”.

    What can I do about this? It’s unreasonable to tell your spouse not to have the friends he does. I know it is…but every time I talk to him about how screwed up his friends are when they do certain things, he makes excuses for them and irrationally tells me, “Fine, I just won’t have any friends! I don’t need them, I love you!”
    We’re in our early 20′s. Youngins,

  • My husband is “googling” photos of actresses – pretty actresses – Kate Beckinsale, Pinelope Cruz, Scarlett Johanson – etc…..For the last week he has watched Underworld starring Kate Beckinsale every night – seriously! He is now, through myspace, looking for his FRIEND’S daughter! She is only 20 and he is 44. He even looks at the models on Fredricks website. Specific ones because they are the same pictures almost every morning of the same girls. When is enough, enough? He obviously has some issues and I am getting tired of it fast. I don’t know how to go about talking to him – he just gets angry – obviously because he’s embarrassed or whatever the case might be – that he was found out – sounds about right to me! We have been married for 23 + years and I just can’t take this anymore. He is becoming the “Dirty old Man” and it gives me the creeps! I know men look, but this is alittle too carried away if you ask me. Has anyone else gone through this and if so what did you do?
    First of all – I am not looking for an excuse to divorce, Happy2! We have had problems – already dealt with the porn – started watching it with him which was a mistake but he doesn’t want to watch it with me much anymore. I just feel he has no respect for me and his excuse too was lame – because I am a man! Thats his excuse.

  • For example: “If you embarrass me again I will punch your head through a wall!”

  • I thought my husband would be a one night stand. We met a club and four days later we had sex. I thought I’d never hear from him again, but 13 days after we met we got married. Surprise surprise!

    What about you?
    We married June 24, 2010. Couldn’t be happier. Neither one of us is perfect, but we’ve come to accept each other.

  • Hey ya’ll. :) I’m a 26 year old mom of three girls, ages 5, almost 3, and 10 months. :) . My husband is currently 9 months into a 13 month deployment to Afghanistan. What are your fears, frustrations and struggles as a mother and military wife?
    Mine are never getting a break from my children. I mean I love them so incredibly much, but 9 months straight without a single break or any help at all is really takes its toll…lol! I just do it though, you know what I mean? I mean I have to so I don’t gripe about it, I don’t say I can’t I just do it because I know that I have to and that I can’t be weak or break. So you just don’t stop…you go a million miles an hour because you know that you can’t slow down. You just cowboy up and do it.
    My fears are, of course, what if (God forbid!), something happened to my husband? How would I explain it to my children, and handle their grief and mine?
    And, have you ever noticed that poop hits the fan when they deploy? LOL!!! In the past 9 months, I’ve been through a flood which resulted in no running water for 2 weeks with three children and a flooded basement, then the plumbing in the house went haywire and I had to have a plumber come out and fix it, the lawnmower broke twice. Then our van broke down twice. Then I sold our house “for sale by owner”, and we are about to close on it finally!. I moved by myself (literally packed up a u-haul and the three kids) and with the help of a few friends moved accross the state. My brother borrowed my husband’s car and totaled it. Some one crossed the median on the highway and hit my van with me and my 3 kids in it going 50 mph, and I’m still dealing with back and neck injuries from that, I’m in the process of house shopping and when we close on the house I am selling I can purchase another house, three tires on my van are always going low on air, there’s a whining and grinding noise in the engine now…lol! Have you ever noticed that none of this stuff happens when they’re home?

    Thanks for letting me gripe there…lol
    India Lima Foxtrot: I love your answer! :) We are actually stationed close to family right now, within 40 miles and 100 miles actually! But the pathetic thing is – I have asked for help from them and none of them will. Even more pathetic…these people aren’t distant family…they are my parents and aunts, uncles and cousins and my husband’s parents, grandparents, aunts uncles and cousins. They don’t want to help out at all and every time I ask they flat out refuse. My neighbors here on base are awesome and a blessing – there’s usually always someone to talk to at least lol. We live on an airforce base and we are Navy (my husband is a gunner’s mate, so his job is always boots on ground), and there are so many child care opportunities available here for deployed families….if you’re airforce. I couldn’t believe that when I got here and checked into things! They said I wasnt’ eligible because my husband is Navy and all of the daycare for deployed families in the area is provid

  • Further to “I don’t know what to do with my cheating husband” post. I work long hours as a hotelier and I must admit that I am a workaholic. My husband says he cannot compete with my affair with my work that is one of the reasons he cheated? I feel this is not the same as cheating with another woman. My work load is less now since I have a full team to support me….however this is already too late as his affair has gone on for more than 6 months. My husband will make it my problem. How can I hit him back without him able to say anything further?

  • how did u 2 meet? how long have u been together? was it love at first sight? how did they win u over? just thought it would fun to hear everyone’s stories!! :)

    i met my bf at an astros game. i went with my friend, her boyfriend, n he brought along his friend..we didnt hit it off rite away — i thought he was a jerk n he thought i was stuck up lol — so we didnt really talk much durin the game (aside from a huge argument over a few players lol) afterwards we all went to dinner n thats really where we started talkin n realized we had a lot in common but we still acted as if we couldnt stand each other lol..2 days later he called n asked if i would meet him at dennys for breakfast. i said yes, n we’ve been goin there every saturday morning for the past 3 yrs! lol. now we are expecting our first child n i couldnt be more happy or in love..n yes, we still go to astros games all the time, n still argue over players lol..

    your turn!! :)

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